accelerated nursing program | Learn How to Approach Women

Learn How to Approach Women

Have you ever wondered why so many female friends can recommend you as “great catch” but you have no girlfriend? You might be surprised to learn that most guys are afraid to approach women, and this plays a key role in why a lot of them are not only single, but lack the companionship they want. Often, these same guys may be very comfortable with women in general, but these women are usually introduced by friends, at social gatherings, and at work, so these situations don’t really count because these instances aren’t usually intended to land a woman in bed or bring her to the altar. For the doubters out there, consider that most of these guys, and you may be one of them, have plenty of female contacts who consider them great “friends” even though most of these are looking for companionship, not friendship.

Out of interest, approach one of these single guys and ask why they are single. You can pretty much guarantee that they will not admit to being unable to approach women. A lot of these guys (probably the majority of them) don’t even know they are afraid of approaching new women because we have been fed a romantic fairy tale that makes us believe that the “right” women will come to us if they are interested or that love will find us when all of the stars align. We have been led to believe that anything else requires work and love should just happen on its own!

In all honesty, most guys are terrible at meeting new women. While we won’t admit it, we have insecurities. These insecurities keep us from meeting women by encouraging us to come up with excuses for why we should absolutely, positively not approach women. We will create excuses like: she probably has a boyfriend; why would someone like her even give me the time of day; I’m about two inches too short and six-figures shy of getting someone like her; I’ll just get embarrassed if I even look over her way; and on and on.

The good news is that our fear about women may have been hard-wired over the ages. Well, that is one theory out there, anyway, and it suggests that this hard-wiring dates back to the caveman days. If you look at this theory, it seems to have some validity. You can test it on your own with any social animal by throwing a third, say, chimp, into a group of other chimps where there is one female of interest. This new chimp will compete with other chimps for her attention and with aggressive animals this new arrival might even lose his life for even trying to attract the female! So, we conflict thanks to our caveman ancestors who might have died to meet women. And since nobody wants conflict in their life, why approach women at all? Why not opt to fly below the radar and let the “right” woman find us?

In reality, most women will not seek us out or actively try to find us. As men, we have to take an active role in seeking out our ideal mate. The reason for this may be a sad truth in that women’s rights, while they have evolved professionally, politically, and legally, have not really evolved socially. While the days of the dowry and arranged marriages have all but gone, they are still around and remain a healthy part of some cultures today. Here a bride brings a gift (like money) to her soon to be husband.

For most of us where a dowry is not everyday, a lot of women know that they control whether to allow us into their lives. They have the power to reject or welcome us. This control disappears once they let us “in.” In fact they lose control over most decisions and take a co-pilot seat in their everyday routines.

So how do win a woman’s approval and convince her to not reject us? To start, we must get comfortable with how we can and should approach women. As well, we need to accept that what our caveman ancestors encountered a thousand years ago no longer exists (for the most part). Once we do these things, we will be well-prepared to seek out the right women.

Of course, this sounds easier said than done. Because even if you master how to approach women, gaining acceptance is really just the first of many steps! Next, you’ll have to learn how to keep her!

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